Now I know who my real friends are

Being in recovery gives you plenty of time to think about life. Maybe too much time. I have had a lot of support from friends and family and that has been good. My personality doesn't allow for much time to sit around and do nothing so this has been quite the challenge for me. I felt like my mother the day after surgery because I felt so good I was cleaning and baking. I was so exhausted afterwards that I decided that maybe it wasn't such a good idea and haven't put forth such effort since.

This morning I purposely didn't take my pain killers just so I could drive and get out of the house. I wasn't gone long and as much as Walmart and the library are a big adventure, I had to come home to rest. My afternoon nap was much needed and I feel better. I wish that I was more motivated to pick up half finished projects that I have started like my quilt or crocheting. Maybe given another day to go crazy with boredom will be motivation enough. Luckily I was able to get out with one of my roommates to go watch a movie last night. I enjoyed it but it was too much sensory overload for my little brain on drugs.

The problem is that these pain killers make me emotionally numb as well. I just don't care and as strange as it sounds am content to just stare at nothing in particular for several minutes. Waking up from naps can prove to be difficult as well. This was the second time this week where I kept thinking that I had woken up several times before I actually got up. Today I had imagined myself getting up to float a cucumber down a stream into a pool. This was probably due to the fact that my window was open and I could hear the waterfall/stream from the backyard. Sounds like I'm getting more stupid every day and hopefully I'll be able to get off the pain pills soon before I'm a complete neanderthal.